A Better Christmas : The Emotions
How to mentally prepare all through the year to be able to fully enjoy this time of giving and being reunited with our loved ones for a marathon of food and memories… But is there really a good way to set a better Christmas for next year, with all the emotions involved ? Well, truth is, we need to deal with those very emotions at a time filled with overactive feelings, and it is exhausting. And yet it cannot be dismissed. Somehow, we have to work it out and make it work.
The solution. There is no one solution. There are many.
The Human Factor.
Christmas time is a time of reuniting. Gathering with loved ones and estranged members of our circles as well. There is no perfect Christmas when it comes to getting together. Why ? Because we are human. And we all have utterly different views, and feelings, and ways to deal with realities and with each other. So we mix all of this in a confined space -well, Baby it’s definitely cold outside- for hours or days, we add just enough logistic stress and exhaustion, and maybe a drink or two… Let me tell you, storms are meant to awake, no secret there !
So, from time to time, we might decide that cutting ourselves from the outside world is the perfect solution. And it may be. Taking a break before we break down. But it can be just as wrong as well. There is no good or bad choice. No right or wrong. And slipping away for a solo celebration may be just as roaring, from within that is. So…
Envisioning Christmas.
It is all about what we set as our priorities and what makes the most sense. Eventually the solution resides in the fact that we want to picture ourselves after the holidays feeling at peace. Our endless goal of being able to look behind and say “I did good”. Even if things did not go well, or as well as expected. But just well enough to be able to have an honest look at the celebrations that ended and think that we did all we could to make things work the best they were able to, given the circumstances. We should be able to realize that we did prepare for a better Christmas than last year when it comes to emotions. And sometimes it is just enough.
Facing Realities.
But we set the bar so high too. A marathon of food and memories swamping us in a matter of hours, only to start all over again a week from then. So much pressure ! We want the best time of the year to be, well, the best time really. But there is work challenges to address, unrelated family matters, sports events to get ready for. And the celebrations come down on us, no matter what we think of them, no matter if we are ready or not. We have planned everything properly ? Great ! The presents are taken care of ? Fantastic ! The food is under control ? Perfect. But what if they are not ? Well Christmas is still coming, no matter what. And we still have to welcome it. Because if we miss it, we gotta wait another 364 days for it to happen. So we pressure ourselves, our finances, our minds, to fit everything into those few days of frenzy. We cross our fingers that nothing will go wrong. And hope for the best.
Accepting The Unpredictable.
But we cannot control all of the elements that affect us. We have the ability to define some factors influencing our surroundings, true. But one thing we have no power over whatsoever, is the others. We can only control what we think. What we feel. What we do. The rest is up to the rest. We can listen and talk. We can try to soothe, ease, imply, suggest, state, convince, but we can only try. Everyone else will have the power to think and feel and do for themselves. It is important to understand and accept our own limitations when we have to get social. With all the benefits that being together holds, there is always a component that may slip away. Something we have no control over but that we may feel responsible for anyhow. Truth is, we just don’t have that ability to have everything under control and that can bring a lot of overwhelming emotions at that time of year when we want to set a better Christmas.
Imperfect Christmas.
So for next year, we should start working on that aspect in our mind. That there might be some ups and downs. That, even thought we will want everything to go smoothly and nobody to be hurt in any way, it might happen. No matter what we do. No matter what we say. Or don’t say, or don’t do. Because we are all human. We all have our own will. Our own motivations, reasons why, understandings, our own set ideas and experiences. Our scars and our hopes. Which make us act the way we act and behave the way we do. We should give ourselves a chance. Christmas is not a perfect celebration. It is loud, and messy and bright and complicated. And that’s okay ! We should go easy on us and change what we can. Because remember the best part : we are way ahead to make next Christmas the best one yet, with our emotions in check.
